Apparently, Madonna decided to prove her continuing relevancy by French-kissing Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards.

Several thoughts spring to mind:

1. Madonna is still the mistress (dominatrix?) of using shock value to garner publicity. Who have thunk she could still be pulling off the sex-fiend act at 40something, with two kids?

2. Today’s pop icons are callow and derivative in comparison to the tawdry original. This all brings to mind an Entertainment Weekly headline from a few years back: “Skank Appeal.” Where along the line did being a skanky ho turn into a good thing? I shudder to think what my blood pressure will be when I have a teenaged daughter.

3. Nothing is more popular with heterosexual males than what The Onion calls “hot, all-girl action” (originally used in reference to the Wellesley brochure). Curiously enough, women don’t seem to find “all-guy action” interesting. To quote my friend Kuku, who “accidentally” watched some gay porn while staying at a friend’s place, “There seems to be a lot of slapping involved.”

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