They’re Just Big-Boned

This just in: not only are fat people discriminated against, but their repellent aura affects those around them as well. A study conducted at the University of Liverpool found that a sample of 144 female students were 22% more negative in their opinion of a man in a picture if he was standing next to a fat woman.

“When seen with the large woman, he was more likely to be described as miserable, self-indulgent, passive, shapeless, depressed, weak, insignificant and insecure.”

Interestingly enough, the fat students were harsher in their opinions than the thin students, reflecting their self-loathing.

Of course, in an era in which American obesity is at an all-time high–over 30% of Americans are considered obese–perhaps we’ll be able to solve this discrimination by the simple expedient of all becoming fat.

For example, have you ever noticed how Wal-Mart shoppers are fatter than Target shoppers or even Costco shoppers? It’s even been commemorated in haiku:

The aisles are quite wide

Yet fat shoppers block my path

Their butt cheeks jiggle

Perhaps the fattening of America is due to Wal-Mart’s steady conquest of the retail world. Think about it.

The grand irony of weight-loss is that it’s pretty simple how to lose weight: eat less and exercise more. Read how it worked for Autodesk founder John Walker. Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to lay down those Krispy Kremes.