Stupid Criminal Tricks

Some idiot in Oklahoma went through the trouble of stealing 5,000 pounds of cooking grease (resale value: $380).

Amazingly enough, the fact that this very crime was featured as one of Homer Simpsons’ batty get-rich-quick schemes is only the second stupidest criminal that comes to mind when reading this article.

You see, my ex-business partner’s wife’s ex-husband (now there’s a mouthful) managed to acquire the nickname of “The Bottle Bandit.” Why? He and his buddies decided to make a few bucks by renting a U-Haul, heading down to the Coca-Cola bottling plant, and stealing a truckload of empty bottles, presumably to turn in for the recycling value. To make a long story short, the police caught them (the Bottle Bandit’s brother ended up being the arresting officer in another remarkable coincidence) and the case was pretty much open and shut–thanks to the fact that they found the U-Haul rental receipt in the getaway truck, which the Bottle Bandit had rented using his real name and identity.