As you know, I love Penelope Trunk for the questions that she raises. The following post originally appeared as a comment on her post about friendship.
1) Religiously email your friends on their birthday. No matter what, you’re guaranteed to bring them a smile and get an update on their life.
2) Any time you meet someone interesting, ask them to lunch. There’s nothing like a good 1:1 session to build a real relationship.
3) Any time you see something that person might like, email them a link. It shows you care, and gives them an opportunity to write back.
4) Hold on to the friends you have. Relationships do tend to decay over time, and a long-standing friendship is really something special. If you simply make sure that you don’t lose your friends, you’re already ahead of the game.
There’s one more: remembering to say “thanks” to someone, even if you don’t know them, if they somehow did something for you, even if they didn’t know it. Always a good idea. Which reminds me: Hey, thanks for turning me onto the book about Slash careers. Reading it right now. Interesting stuff.
Good point, Rob. Saying thanks and showing gratitude are a great way to build and maintain relationships. Plus, the research also shows that it helps increase your happiness.
You’re welcome for the pointer to Marci’s book. And thank you for contributing to this blog!
Chris, I like your list. Here is one more thing to add. It’s something you did with me that I really liked…
You called me, on the phone, out of the blue. No one does that anymore. It would be totally annoying if everyone did that regularly. It would be like phone-Twitter or something. But to get it once was fun, and sweet, and added a dimension to our friendship 🙂
Penelope
Penelope,
Great point about occasionally calling just to chat.
There’s nothing we hate more than someone who only calls us when they want something.
If most of the times you contact someone, you’re either helping them out or genuinely interested in their life, the one time you call needing a favor, you’ll get it.
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