To celebrate the end of the school year, Jason has graced us with another of his stories.  Apparently, he is not a fan of Twilight.  Presented here without further comment.

Great White Furry

“Oh, Jacob, your man boobs are so sexy and pulsing.”

“You can forget about those vampire bastards, Bella.”

“The f#*$ is this? Why is that werewolf dude throbbing his hairy chest to persuade a girl to marry him?”

“Chad, I don’t know. Maybe this movie sucks so bad that one of their own actors is that sexy guy Taylor Lockner.”

“Well, he wasn’t that bad, Mike. Remember him from Sharkgirl and Lavaboy?”

“It’s called Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Chad. Shut up and lets watch NBA. At least the Lakers don’t have sexy goth werewolves on their team, though that would be pretty cool.Or we could go to Long John Silver and get fish and fries, which are somehow chips and real chips are called crisps.”

“Mike, we don’t have any money!!!”

SO Mike and Chad went to the bank and became unstoppable  criminal masterminds until:

“Mike, there’s a shark running after me, help for gods sake!”

“How much smuggled crack were you smoking,Chad?”

Apparently the shark was just a furry/rapist that escaped from an insane asylum. Chad never was seen in San Francisco again. Mike was arrested and died in jail. Many people in Oregon have seen Chad playing spin the bottle with Bigfoot. Other people have seen leftovers of Long John Silver meals and broken Twilight DVDs. People say that Chad is still out there, wearing a shark costume. During spring break, I saw a Twilight Saga DVD. Could this be the work of Chad? If it is, I hope he dies soon.